Dog Handling
by Hentai no Ai
Summary: After being dumped by her high school sweetheart, Kagome falls into an extremely depressive state... That is until her insane boss threatens to fire her if she doesn't sleep with someone in a month. NOT KagomeShippo!
1. Not So Sure

**AN: **This is the third time I've done this...** SORRY!**

And let me say this once, this story is **_not_ **a Kagome/Shippo story.

**Disclaimer: **The plot belongs to Clare Naylor. The characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. But the words belong to me.

---

_Dog Handling  
By Hentai no Ai  
Not So Sure_

---

Two figures sat in the middle of a secluded beach, nuzzling each other's necks. The woman's long raven hair whipped at the man's face as the wind blew around them. But the light breeze soon stopped leaving them in a comfortable silence other than the soft sound of the waves crashing.

The man's soft brown eyes locked onto the woman's lighter brown orbs with a serious look.

"Kagome," He whispered softly.

She looked at him with wide pleading eyes, "Not yet."

"Kagome," He said again, this time his voice was louder and clearer.

She turned her head away from him, again murmuring, "Not yet."

"KAGOME!" His tone had become more feminine and sounded annoyed.

The woman started blinking as the scene started to blur away and she closed her eyes to stop the wave of nausea that hit her as the world started spinning.

"KAGOME!" The woman opened her eyes to see her boss looking at her with a heated glare and frown.

"I'm sorry!" The woman squeaked before ducking behind a small stack of work she'd neglected.

"Kagome..."

"I'm really sorry, Ami! I just got tired..."

Her boss raised an amused eyebrow at her after looking at her computer for a short second,

"Tired of staring at this naked picture of Ken Hishima?"

Kagome looked at her computer then back at her boss with an embarrassed look.

Ami rolled her eyes at Kagome, "You get more work done than the people who have worked her for more than10 years. You really think you'd get in trouble for taking a break? I'm just waking you up because half of your co-workers are having a perfect view of your... photo."

"Oh," Kagome gave a small smile.

"Oh yeah, AND the fact that it's half past 6."

The younger woman's eyes widened, "_Nani_! I have to go!" She grabbed her purse and dashed towards the stairs not bothering with the slow elevators.

Ami sighed as she looked at the computer again, "Bye Kagome, I'll just close up for you." She closed each window until she reached a small essay heading off with, 'My To Do List'.

---

"Sango! I'm sorry I'm late!" Kagome had just rushed into a bar where her best friend was waiting.

A taller woman with her long dark brown hair swept up into a ponytail looked at her with a small, taunting smile, "Having dreams about Ken again?"

Kagome glared at her, "Sango, it's not funny! You know I'm not supposed to be fantasizing about other men. I'm getting married to Shippo!"

Sango sighed and shook her head slowly. Out of all her friends, she'd have to say Kagome was just about the craziest. The girl was only 23, a year younger than herself, and already she was getting married. Although, she had been going out with Shippo since their early years in high school.

"Kagome, it's okay! You only feel this way because you know this is it."

"Jeez Sango, you don't have to make it sound like a death sentence." Sango looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "I mean... there's always divorce."

"You've got a point there." Sango smiled with a shrug and continued sipping on her drink.

---

"Kami-sama, I look like a cow." Kagome stared at herself in the long mirror in the bridal store's dressing room. She was wearing one of the possible wedding dresses she and Sango had picked out.

"Let me see." Sango's voice came through the door. She opened the door bracing herself to see a beautifully fitting dress on her self-conscious friend.

Sango took one look at her a broke out into a grin, "If I were gay, I swear I'd jump you." The long, white dress looked great on Kagome. Her long black hair, with was currently in a messy bun, made her fair skin seem paler causing the already beautiful dress look wonder on the girl. The small, glistening beads looked like small diamonds on the elegant dress.

Kagome looked at her strangely, "Sango, I don't look good in this at all!"

"You can say that again," Kagura, the clerk, said in a disgusted tone. She turned towards Sango with the fakest smile either one of them had ever seen, "But you, you would look exquisite in these!"

Sango rolled her eyes, but was even more irritated when another woman walked into the bridal shop with an air of confidence (or arrogance, the choice is yours) following behind her.

Kagura quickly ran to her side, the smell of money leaking off the new customer. She started exclaiming about how wonderful she was going to look and how lucky and smart her fiancé was for picking her as a bride.

"I swear, when Ken puts that ring on my finger I'll just squeal with excitement." The woman said, already squealing and squeaking like a mouse with an amazingly high-pitched voice.

Sango turned back to Kagome with a reassuring smile, "How much do you want to bet that this Ken will be just over 3 feet high with a beard twice as long that trails when he's on his Harley? You're lucky to have Shippo! He has a well paying job, you've been together for more than 6 years, not to mention the fact that he's a cutie!"

The squeaking woman put on her dress and (again) squealed in delight as she saw her reflection. "Ken's going to fall in love with me all over again!"

"Of course he will, why wouldn't he? You look wonderful!" Kagura's head was so far up the woman's ass it was a wonder she was still breathing.

Kagome again was in the dressing room trying on another dress that looked 'terrible' on her when Sango suddenly whispered, "Don't come out! Don't come out!"

A masculine voice was heard, "Ah, Yura you look wonderful."

Said woman (or said squealer) jumped as she heard the voice. "Ken," She said in a teasing, still squeaky and irritating, tone. "You know you're not supposed to see me before the wedding!"

Kagome pulled the door open to see the grungy Ken and was surprised to see the man who happened to be the apple of her eye. The most famous underwear model, multi-millionaire, suave, sexy, and smart Ken _Hishima_.

"SANGO!"

---

Kagome sat on a train, rocking and bumping along with it. She was on her way to her parents' house for some advice on her wandering mind. The fact that she worried more about what other men thought of her than her betrothed...

'_Maybe this is normal,'_ She thought as the train rolled on. It could just be the pressure right? She was taking a big step after all.**_Maybe it's not meant to be... _**A small voice was nagged at the back of her mind. This wasn't the first time Kagome heard it and she wasn't surprised to hear it again.

_'Or maybe you're wrong' _She countered to the irritating yet seemingly right voice.

**_Don't forget about the other's..._**

'_From when I was 6?'_ She raised a brow and people watched her as strange expressions took over her face while she sat by herself.

**No, Inuyasha...**

"Inuyasha...?" Kagome breathed out the name in surprise. Inuyasha had been her first love. Her first... everything.

Her mother was the type who would go on vacation and bring her first 10 'best' friends and their kids. This year's choice was in America. She'd decided to go to New York. A very random and very small city in upstate New York. The most boring spot in the state, they were a long three hours away from the famously busy city. All 30 of them stayed in one of her extremely rich relative's mansion. One day their parents had decided to go on a five-day trip, and all the teens somehow found their way to Manhattan for their own mini vacation.

None of them, especially Kagome (or so she thought), knew how to speak English and they were all suffering (actually, just her) from the lack of the talent of being bilingual.

She was going around buying items she thought to be great and rare souvenirs that weren't really all that uncommon in the busy street markets. She bought one green grape thinking she stumbled upon a great treasure. But when she saw a boy with strange yet beautiful long silver hair and even stranger golden eyes she wanted to take him home.

She figured he was American because silver hair and golden eyes were just not something you saw in Japan. He was wearing a red vest that showed off his muscular arms and a pair of black jeans that made him look like a bad boy. But those ears were making her rethink that decision.

Kagome watched him as he went to a vender and left with a very irritated look gracing his rugged yet beautiful features.

She suddenly found herself on the ground with her small brown paper bag with the _single_ grape a few feet away from her.

A clawed hand was suddenly in her line of vision and she looked up to the boy picking up her bag and then reaching for her.

He looked inside her bag and muttered in Japanese, "What an idiot! She bought one grape!"

She frowned at him, "Baka!"

He turned to her a scowl own his face, "What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"You've got a lot of nerve, do you know who you're talking to?"

"An asshole?"

And so their relationship began. An hour later they were telling each other everything and two hours after that they were rolling around in the sand at a private beach, and they weren't making sand castles.

Kagome blinked rapidly realizing the train had finally stopped. She got off and got a cab to her parents' home.

---

"Kagome! What are you doing here?" Kagome's mother welcomed her into the house with a warm smile.

"I need to talk to you about-" She was cut off as someone spoke behind her.

"Kagome! What's up?"

Kagome whirled around screaming, her immediate reaction to the unfamiliar deep voice. "Who the hell are you?" She saw her younger, now 15, brother.

"Oh my goodness! Souta!" She hugged her brother and looked up at him. He had her by just about 4 inches. "Finally! You've reached puberty!"

Souta softly pushed her away to glare at her, "I wouldn't be talking if I were you."

"Go ahead and try. I'll make sure mom knows what really happened to all her lotions-"

"Gotta go!" He dashed out the door before Kagome could finish the sentence.

"Hmm, do you want some tea?" Her mother asked her after leaving the kitchen with a cup, steam rising from the hot liquid.

"Thanks, mom." Kagome took the tea and began sipping as she sat on a cream-colored leather couch.

"What did you want to talk about?" Her mother asked her as she sat across from her in a love seat that matched the couch.

"I'm not sure about Shippo..."

"Oh! I was wondering when you were going to come to me about that! Kei! Can you come down here?" Mrs. Higurashi called down her husband. Kagome's father came down the stairs looking slightly confused until he saw Kagome. "Oh, Shippo?"

"Ok, when did you guys plan this?" Kagome watched her parents with a confused expression on her face, did they expect the engagement to be a failure or something?

"Don't know what you're talking about," said her father. "But we do know that it's normal for you to feel this way."

"How would you even know what I'm feeling?"

"Because you're mother and I went through it when we were getting married. Just about everyone does. You've been with him for so many years now, and looking at some other men doesn't mean you should be filing for divorce papers before you say 'I do'."

"Oh, ok." Kagome realized she just wasted an entire hour when she could have had this conversation on the phone.

"Is that all honey?"

"Yeah," She got up to leave, relieved that her mind wandering a little didn't mean she didn't want to get married to her high school sweetheart.

---

"Shippo!" Kagome waved him over to the table she was at in the bar with Sango. They were talking about Sango's trip to Florida. "Yeah, Sesshoumaru has this wonderful villa there. But I have to admit, Melbourne doesn't look fun..."

"That's because it isn't. I remember when Mrs. Higurashi and her friends, including my mother, took us on vacation there. We all had to sneak off to Miami to find something to do." Kagome smiled when Shippo sat next to her at the small table. He gave her a small smile and a peck on the cheek, unlike their other meetings when he would start making out with her like they were in their bedroom leaving Kagome very red... and a little horny.

'_I wonder what's wrong?'_ Kagome threw a concerned glance at Shippo, one that he didn't seem to notice.

"When are you leaving again?"

Sango rolled her eyes at the couple, "I think this wedding is stressing you two out a little too much. Again, I'm leaving in two days."

"Already?" Kagome suddenly had a panicked look on her face. "But, Sango! What about the wedding? When are you coming back?"

"Goodness! Calm down, Kagome! I'll be back just in time for the wedding, a little time after the summer's end."

Sango smiled when Kagome let out a relieved sigh, but neither of them noticed the small frown on Shippo's lips.

---

"What do you mean it's over?" Shippo glared at Kagome for the outburst and then pointed to his sensitive ears.

"I don't give a fuck about your youkai hearing!" Kagome was sitting on their bed and shaking with rage.

"Kagome, I just can't do this anymore." Shippo stayed calm as he talked to the outraged Kagome.

"Meaning...?" Kagome tried to relax but even she could hear the anger in her voice.

"I just... can't. Okay?" He turned around with a small duffel bag in his hand. "I'll come back for the rest later."

Kagome jumped off the bed and stood in front of her door, "You think you're off the hook?" She glared at him and backed up against the door. "I do _**not**_ think so."

Shippo sighed as he saw the determined look in her eyes, "Well, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to sit on that bed and explain to me exactly why you've decided to break up with me 2 months before our wedding!"

He sighed again and made his way towards the bed, "Fine." He pointed to the spot on the bed next to him and Kagome obliged.

So for the next two hours, Shippo explained to Kagome why he no longer wanted to marry her. How he felt like he was no longer _in_ love with her, but he did still love her. That he was always thinking of other women when he was at work or with friends. And Kagome told him how that happened to her, too, and her parents told her everyone feels that way before getting married. But Shippo continued, saying many of his friends told him that, but he just didn't want to be with her like that anymore. That's when Kagome let him go and after she saw his car drive away from her apartment building, she called Sango.

Not once throughout her talk with Shippo did one tear slip. But as soon as she began retelling it to Sango with detail, she cried harder than she'd ever cried in her life and nothing Sango said could help her stop.

---

**AN: **I'm actually going to update this time! The only reason I took it off and put it back up is because I would definitely not read a story that has two chapters with a nearly 2 year posting difference. It's sneaky but...That's my style.

Oh yeah, that thing with the grape. I don't know much about Japan and researching is just not my thing, but I'm pretty sure there are grapes in country. So let's just say that Kagome is deathly allergic to grapes and her parents kept them away from her and somehow she's never seen one in her entire life (or doesn't remember).

...

...

...

Review... _please_?


	2. Palm Trees

**AN**: Less than three weeks... That's progress!

Juicy: Actually, that's quite sad

HnA: So is your face...

Juicy: What happened to that whole 'mirror image' thing?

HnA: Beauty is skin deep and you are the ugliest person alive

Juicy: Wouldn't that be saying something about you since I'm _in _**you**?

HnA: Uh... ... ...no.

---

_Dog Handling  
By Hentai no Ai  
Palm Trees_

---

"Damnit, I'm never going to get this done!" Kagome sat in front of her computer, her eyes skimming over some of the many papers that lay in dismay all over her desk. She looked back up at the computer screen and let out a loud scream of annoyance which scared most of the people on the floor and brought much unwanted attention.

"I said I'm fine, I don't know why you had to bring me in here…" She sat in a very uncomfortable chair in front of her boss. Kagome knew for a fact that when any employee was asked specifically to sit in the same chair she sat in, it meant your next stop was the unemployment office.

"Kagome…" She looked towards the tall woman behind the desk. She had her finely manicured hands entwined on the desk. "For the past few weeks you've been coming in here earlier then the sun comes up and you stay later than the janitor. I'm not saying that's bad, it's nice that you love your job." Ami's face softened and she looked at the younger woman in front of her. "But you can't use your work to excuse yourself from your problems."

"What else am I supposed to do? Everywhere I go, there's a chance I might run into Shippo and I can't deal with that… Not yet." Kagome had a nice little chat with her boss, not much unlike the one she'd had with Sango, about her engagement.

"Then take a vacation, go somewhere new." She saw Kagome opening her mouth to protest. "If you don't, you're fired."

"What? You're going to fire me because I don't want to take a vacation?" Kagome looked as if she was about to cry. First she lost her lifetime love, and now she was losing her job…

"Kagome, you've been working here for four years. I honestly have no idea how you did it, but you started out in the mail room and found your way here. And during that time you became my friend. I care about you and there's no way I'm going to let you go around moping over a lost love."

"But-" Kagome started only to be interrupted.

"But nothing, you will be out of a job if you don't go." Ami said, narrowing her eyes as Kagome began to think.

Ami was right, she couldn't go on for the rest of her life sitting in front of her computer trying to hide away from Shippo. And when was the last time she went on a real vacation? Not the occasional holiday trip to relatives that decided to live far away from the rest of her insane family, but the escape to hidden exotic islands with clean, white sand beaches and palm trees that swayed a little with the wind.

Ami watched as Kagome's eyes became glazed and her mouth held a secretive smile. "Kagome!" She laughed a little when the younger woman jumped in her seat and looked around. "Save your fantasies for the plane ride, ok?" Ami realized she had gotten her point across and the girl would go away for some time when Kagome nodded and smiled.

"So you're going to go?" She asked just to make sure Kagome hadn't changed her mind in the nano-second that passed.

"Yes."

Kagome began to get up but stopped short when she heard Ami clear her throat. "What happened?"

"You have to promise me you'll do something for me."

Kagome nodded, "Sure, anything."

"You have to sleep with someone new by the end of this month." Kagome searched her boss' face for a hint to her words being a joke.

"Come again?"

"You heard me. Wherever you go, I have eyes to watch you. And if you don't do it, you won't even be hired as a clerk at WacDonalds." Kagome shrank in the chair miserably, it wasn't always a good thing to have friends in high places.

---

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Kagome stared out the cab window. In front of her sat amansion with a colorful garden decorating the long and steep concrete pathway that led up to the door. The well manicured grass that surrounded the large building had tall palm trees protruding occasionaly. The house itself sat on a large hill and was a light beige color, it was a little overwhelming to her.

"Yes," The annoyed driver answered her as he got out the car to get her bags. She had been talking to him non-stop for the hour and a half long drive from the airport. "Just pay and go," He muttered to himself as he pulled her baggage out of the trunk.

Kagome got out of the car and thanked him for the ride after she payed him. She choked at the exhaust as he sped off insanely. She shrugged at his odd behavior and picked up one of her two bags and slinging it over her shoulder. She pulled the handle of the other and began up the hill. When she finally reached the door, she was exhausted. "I think I might have overpacked," she said as she sat down and stared at her bags.

"So do I." She turned to see Sango standing next to her with a large grin. "We're not going to be staying here for the rest of our natural lives you know..."

Kagome jumped up to give her friend a hug. Despite the fact that she'd been away from her best friend for only a short two weeks, her emotional distress left her feeling more lonely than ever. This trip was supposed to make her feel better but...

Kagome jumped away from Sango and pointed an accusing finger at her, "I almost had a heat stroke and was close to dying from exhaustion pulling these bags up that hill and you've been standing there all this time watching me!"

Sango watched her with an amused smile and a raised eyebrow, "Yes."

"What kind of friend are you?" Kagome folded her arms and turned away, pouting all the while.

Sango laughed at her act, shaking her head softly as she did so, "The kind that wants her heart broken best friend not to turn into a huge, lazy, weak cow."

---

"Wow." Kagome stared at the room she was to be staying in, the walls were a soft hue of blue, imaginary clouds painted all along the surface and in many different patterns. Next to the windows was a white day bed. Three cushions accented it, all a different shade of blue. The alternating blue and white curtains were drawn to bring light into the room.

"Sweet merciful Jesus..."

A huge and comforting bed sat in front of her, dozens of pillows took up more than half of the bed. She dropped her bags and made a mad dash to the welcoming spot. She lept into the air and just before she landed on the soft mattress with it's silk sheets and comforter, she felt someone pull her back. The force of the yank caused her to fall flat on her back on the hardwood floor. She looked up and saw the room spinning and quickly closed them.

"Hello." She opened her eyes again to find the source of the voice. A girl in a black track suit with hair and lint all over it stood over her with a bright smile.

"Huh?" She began to sit up, but suddenly found herself hovering a few inches above the floor. She looked back at the girl and soon noticed the thin strings that were wrapping aroundher. "Uh..."

"Drop her, Yura!" They both quickly turned to the door and saw Sango standing there with a glare.

"Oh, poo!" She complied with Sango's order and Kagome found herself on the ground yet again.

"Ow..." She said as she landed on her butt.

"Out." Sango pointed behind her as she watched Yura with a steady gaze. She stared after her until she was far down the hall. She let out a sigh and turned back to Kagome.

"Who is she?" she asked as she rubbed her bottom.

"Yura, she helps around the house and she thinks she's an artist."

"She paints?" Sango shook her head. "Sculpts?"

"No, she makes huge hairballs..." Sango cracked a smile as she saw Kagome eyebrows raise. "But she only uses the hair of dead humans and demons." She started laughing as Kagome's eyes widened and her mouth dropped slightly. "Make sure you stay away from her."

"I'm not dead, so isn't my hair safe?" Kagome place a hand to her dark tresses as a reassurance.

"She has a thing for naive and heart broken girls." Sango started out the door while Kagome yelled, insulted.

"I am not naive!"

"Says you..."

---

**AN**: Whoo! That took a little while...

Juicy: Like half a year.

HnA: Shut the hell up you butt fuck

Inu-chan: You two are unbelievable

Anyway... Yes, there are two Yura's and one is a lesbian with a fetish for girls who seem barely legal. And again: This is **NOT **a Kagome/Shippo story.

J-Boi: Review, review, review!


	3. In Drag

**AN**: Mmm... Lovely.

J-Boi: I wonder about you sometimes

HnA: You should

---

_Dog Handling  
By Hentai no Ai  
In Drag  
_

---

"Naive my ass..." Kagome muttered as she walked down the aisle of the small market. She left a few minutes after Sango had continued to point out the fact that Kagome was indeed the most innocent and sheltered person she knew. She had her reasons for the whole grape situation, she wasn't going to blame herself for her genetics. The ones that seemed to think it was funny to be fatally allergic to grapes. Though had it not been for faulty genes and her parents decision to keep their first born sweet, innocent (_not _naive), and alive, she would have never meet Inuyasha. And Kagome was damn sure what they did was not in the 'innocent' catagory.

Kagome continued to reminisce about the other, less visible parts of Inuyasha's anatomy that was also surrounded by silver hair, not noticing the cart she was about to walk into.

"Hey! Wake up!" She jumped out of her reverie and looked to the source of the loud voice. A tall demon with his thick, black hair in a long braid stared at her with a thin raised eyebrow. Being the jealous person she was, Kagome would have found him attractive if it weren't for his nails being in a much better condition than her own. And then there was also the fact that he was in a floral patterned sundress.

"Uh..." If she wasn't stepping into one weird situation after another, then her name wasn't Kagome Youkitso...No wait, it wasn't. That was what she'd figured it would be after being with Shippo throughout most of her love life. She thanked the surrounding kami for the wonderful reminder.

"You okay?" The man had been watching the range of emotions passing by her face and wasn't completely sure if he wanted to know what this daydreaming, clumsy, over emotional girl was doing.

She gave him a small smile, "Yeah, I'm sorry." She backed away and made her way to the refridgerated aisle to grab some milk to go with the box of overly sugared cereal in her hands. She started towards the cash registers and had to fight to let out a loud sigh at the sight of the man in the front. He had a coupon for every _single_ thing in his cart and he was definitely over the ten items or less limit for that aisle.

"How wonderful, this is the only aisle open in the damn store." Kagome's voice was dripping with sarcasm as she muttered this, her eyes sending a threatening glare to the back of them man in front of her. And of course she had to have her ass bitten by karma for making such cutting remarks and wishing ill upon a person who merely wanted to pinch a few pennies by wasting the time of a minimum wage recieving cashier and a naive, but on the verge of becoming evil, dumpee. And how did her ass get bitten by the righteous karma? By having the gallon of milk in her hand spontaneously combust all over her black sparkly, sexy, and chic shirt. Now all the Floridian singles she'd hoped would sweep her off her feet as she wondered on the vinyl floors of the supermarket would see her as a recently milked, glitter covered cow in denim.

She was about ready to let out a scream loud enough to deafen everyone within a two mile radius and then insult the extremely cheap man in front of her so badly that even thought he was deaf he'd still feel the sting for years to come. But instead she realized that she'd still have to pay for the faulty milk bottle and then probably get arrested for acting like she had Tourette Syndrome.

She sighed and turned around, determined to receive a bowl of cereal before the day was over and stepped right into a meadow.

"What the-?" She looked up and saw the same well kept man as earlier watching her with a smile.

"You sure you're okay?" She felt the flame called anger sputter momentarily as she contemplated her answer. She thought of many ways to enlighten him with a negative answer, but then between the geniuine concern she saw in his eyes and the disarming smle he bestowed upon her, her conscience wouldn't allow such bitchyness.

So, with a sigh and some shuffling, she slid past him with a muttered, "Absolutely not."

Kagome found herself in the chilled aisle once again, this time half-heartedly inspecting carton lest she really did have the bad judgement everyone thought she was so incapable of outgrowing and another milk carton exploded all over her like an inexperienced teen.

As she pondered as to why that particular allegory popped into her mind, a shadow loomed over her, encompassing her small frame in a quite sinister way.

"Uh..." She looked up and turned her head and blinked at the sight of familiar flora. "Can I help you?" She pivoted the rest of her body and offered a small smile.

"No," He bent down, his nose nearly touching hers as he did so. Kagome squirmed as he stared at her unblinkingly. After a few moments of his scrutinizing, she was about ready to make a run for it. Pretty dress or no, she wasn't about to be harassed by some strange man while in a foreign country. "But I'm sure I can help you."

Before she could let out a confused, "Huh?" Kagome was being pulled out of the store by the man, it wasn't until they were halfway down the street that she dug in her heels and yelled, "What do you think you're doing?"

The man turned back at her and raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow.

"Yeah," She tried pulling her wrist out of his grasp, failed miserably, but still continued shouting. "I'm talking to you! Don't look at me like _I'm_ the lunatic here."

He shifted and soon was invading her space none too politely yet again, "But you are."

"What?" Kagome squawked. Between the dress and the incredibly rude behavior, Kagome came to the conclusing that the man had lost his marbles and was trying to convert her to his lunacy. "You just pulled me out of a grocery store to kidnap and turn me into your clone! And you say I'm crazy?" She scoffed in disbelief, this guy had some nerve.

"Considering that even _I_ couldn't succeed at that, then yes, you are. Miracles are very rare." He continued to pull her down the street, gathering curious looks.

"What the_ hell_ is that supposed to mean?" Kagome screeched as she was thrown into the back of a convertible. She was finally able to right herself by the time her assailant had started the glossy black beauty and she was soon she was greeted with the view of people and buildings bleeding into each other as the man was surely exceeding the speed limit by one hundred miles.

"Where are you taking me, you strange man?!" Panic was really beginning to settle in her bones, there was a crowd of people that had seen her dragged into a car by a man in a dress, screaming at the top of her lungs, and no one had spared a second glance. What kind of country was America? The land of the free, home of the brave, and resting spot for uncaring bastards?

"Can't hear you, darling," He shouting over the sound of the wind before turning on the stereo, effectively drowning Kagome out, not that the viscious breeze had already accomplished to do so.

Kagome slouched back in the seat defeated, there was nothing she could do. If she attempted to attack, they would probably both be engulfed in the flames of the crash she would inevitably cause. Besides, the man really didn't seem like he was going to harm her, if he did, she probably would have been knocked out and tied up a while ago.

A sigh escaped her and a small smile made its way to her face. She had been dumped by her fiancée, threatened by her boss, molested by a girl with a weird fetish, and now, she was being carted away by a man who's name she didn't even know. A short laugh escaped her as she set her gaze onto the flatlands that were filled sparsely with palm trees. The sun was doing a nice job in illuminating the side of the highway and the thick white clouds with a golden red color. Her eyes began to drift close, the lulling of the smoothly moving car had her drowsy. She saw her captor glance back at her, the amusement in his eyes was clear as he raised his eyebrow with a smile.

It was likely that he honestly thought she was a nutcase, screaming about kidnapping and clones one minute and then sleeping the next but currently, Kagome didn't care.

---

**AN**: I'm horrible, yadda yadda yadda, I'm ashamed of myself, blah blah blah, I promise to update next week, _yeah_, ok.

Juicy: You don't even trust yourself, jeez

I'd go on and on but I've said it all before, I'm already aware that I suck at updating and all that good stuff but inspiration has struck me in the form of fiction press and so I will try my damnedest to finish this story as quickly as I can. I've been revising I Won't Forget, so writing new chapters hasn't really been at the top of my priorities but I love this story and here I am, nuturing it with an update a year and half later.

But anyway, Kagome is an idiot, naive and emotionally drained currently so this chapter makes perfect sense.

Inu-chan: _scoffs_ To you

Please review, because seriously I'm not gonna update if I don't think anyone is reading.

Also, if you see any horrendous mistakes in grammar and/or spelling, please tell me. I'm shit at editing my stuff until like a year after I've written it.


	4. Abortion

**AN**: 'Oly shite, mate. It's ah new chaptah!

Juicy: You should quit with that pathetic accent, you might insult someone

HnA: Shuddap

But yeah, two new chapters in two weeks, that's must be a record for me...

Inu-chan: _Again_, advertisment of the shortcomings is never a good idea

HnA: _Shut_ **up**

Some pretty weird shit (weird in comparison to the crao I normally write) goes down in this chapter, so don't say I didn't warn you.

---

_Dog Handling  
By Hentai no Ai  
Abortion  
_

---

Kagome rolled over and the world tumbled with her as she dropped to the carpeted floor from her amazingly soft and incredibly high bed.

"Ow." She attempted to mumble the expression but failed miserably as it flew out her mouth, loud and sharp, sounding like a bomb setting off in her thumping head.

"Finally awake, huh?" She looked up from her comfortable spot on the floor to see a blob watching her with it's malformed arms resting on its hips. There was a spot of white and she knew it was smiling at her, especially if the laughter she could hear in it's voice was any indication.

"Get away." She tried to take her own advice by getting back in the bed.

"What are you doing?" The blob seemed amused as it bent low and lifted the bed skirt, revealing a very confused looking Kagome.

"Sango?" She blinked as the world began to sharpen along with her senses. "Why does the bed feel so hard?"

Sango's face showed her bemusement before a smile graced it, "Because you're on the floor."

"Oh. Okay." Kagome would have had a fit if she'd noticed the laughter that shone in her friends eyes but she was more focused on the beat her head had set.

"Come on, the dust bunnies will get to you." Sango pulled her from under the bed, laughing as her friend flopped face first onto the mattress as soon as she was in an upright position. "Next time you'll think before you get so drunk, huh?" She left with a chuckle and Kagome was stuck on the bed thinking about why exactly she felt so damn shitty.

"That bastard." She turned over onto her back to stare at the ceiling as the previous night came back to her.

She'd woken up to see the man grinning back at her unabashedly, "Finally up, Sleeping Beauty?"

Still not sure what to make of the situation, Kagome nodded timidly. He let out a bark of laughter that caused her to jump as he swung his waxed legs out of the car. He pulled his seat forward and held out a hand, "I know this may be a little late but my name is Bankotsu."

_No last name. Okay... _She hesitantly put her hand in his as she smiled nervously. "I'm Kagome."

"Hello, Kagome." He beamed as he pulled her out of the car.

Kagome glanced around at her surroundings, they must have been driving for a while because the sky was near black with little dots of white, yellow, and blue littering it. The moon was high in the sky but not full so she could barely make out the outline of an old building with a few trees standing behind it. The road she stood on was primarily dirt and not all that wide, it branched off and went around to the back. Her breath hitched in her throat as her thoughts began down a worn out path called misconception.

'_Shit, he's going to kill me and then chop me up into pieces and then bury me behind one of those trees!' _She tried to hide her oh-so-logical realization while looking around for an escape route. '_Shit! Shit! Shit!_'

"Come on, girl." The fear was clearly evident as she whirled around to face the source of the voice. Bankotsu grinned at her, completely aware of her apprehension. "This is going to be fun."

Kagome nearly succumbed to cardiac arrest as he started to pull her towards the building, the action was quite reminiscent of his manhandling earlier that afternoon.

"Where are we going?" She'd manage to choke out the question just as his hand landed on the door, his body was close to the giant metal entrance so he could push it open.

"To party." The door opened after a lot of grunting and screeching considering the metal monstrosity seemed to take a liking to brushing against the floor noisely.

"Um." Kagome stared at the back of his head confused. The words 'I don't want to party' were at the tip of her tongue but had died an untimely death there as she took in the boistrous scene around her.

She didn't kow whether to gape at the flashing disco ball, the tall woman decked out in a pink kimono with green designs very similar to leaves, or the assortment of colorful drinks and naked men behind her. Her widened gaze instead settled on the gyrating hips of the incredibly sweaty and occasionally bulky men that littered the dancefloor.

"Um." Kagome looked back at Bankotsu, unsure of what to say. "Uh..."

"No need to thank me." The smile returned as Bankotsu dragged her over to the bar, practically throwing her into a stool. "Yo, Jak! Get something good for this one!"

The woman turned towards them and a smirk adorned her face as she made her way over. "Still keeping up with your part, huh?"

"Of course," Bankotsu leaned across the counter as the she did the same. "I'm a man of my word, Jakotsu."

Kagome's jaw went slack as they proceeded to swap spit in a both loud and most likely unsanitary way. Their show of affection went on for a few minutes until Bankotsu pulled back, grinning at the dazed look and heavy breathing procured by Jakotsu.

"Kagome," her gaze went from the puffy pink lips of the woman to her 'captor'. "This is my boyfriend, Jakotsu."

"Erm, you mean your girlfriend?" Kagome asked as her eyebrows furrowed and her uncertainty was obvious as she cocked her head to the side.

"I'm no bitch!" Jakotsu cut in as he sent a glare towards her then looked back at Bankotsu, "You brought a straight man here?"

"What?!" Kagome squeaked asbashedly. "I'm no man!"

Jakotsu's nose scrunched in disgust as he came to a conclusion, "You do seem a bit feminine."

"I hope I seem more than just a _bit _feminine!" Kagome nearly screeched as Bankotsu began choking violently.

"She's one of those depressing girls you were talking about," Bankostu had chuckled as he threw this in, completely ignoring the appalled look Kagome sent his way. "I figured we could help her out."

Jakotsu backed up, nearly running into another bartender as he did this, and squinted at Kagome this way and that before belting out, "She's a lady!"

Kagome's face was on it's way to being filled with an angry red color when she decided it would not be too smart, although quite satisfying, to jump over the counter and beat the living daylights out of the androgyne in front of her.

"Whoa whoa whoa, she's a lady!" Another man drunkenly joined in on the crime known as insulting another's gender as he stumbled past them. Kagome twitched and Bankotsu doubled over in laughter, no longer attempting to hide his amusement at her displeasure.

"Gotta love Tom Jones," he muttered.

"Is there a phone around here?" She asked no one in particualr through gritted teeth. "Because I think I should call a cab."

There was a hush that spread through the room and made Kagome quite uncomfortable. "I'll take that as a no?"

One of the naked men behind Jakotsu pointed to the wall, drawing her attention to a giant scroll that read 'Rainbow's Rules'. Below that in quite curvey writing said: _Number 1_:** Absolutely no straight men**, _Number 2_: **Bisexual men recieve two chances before they are thrown out**.

'_Two chances at what?_' Kagome asked herself as she continued to read on. She found after a few more seconds of reading that animal fucking was a definite no-no, any acts of a sexual nature must be taken to the back rooms, and women were to be flogged instantly should one ever step into the threshold. She looked away from the multi-colored parchment and caught the quite murderous glint in Jakotsu's eyes as he grinned at her.

"Keep reading." Bankotsu's voice told her and she obliged.

_Number 10_: **No phone calls, genitals will be chopped off and then force fed to the offender**

"What the hell?!" Kagome's outraged cry seemed to be the signal to start the party up again because the music was again blasting through various speakers and men were either whispering innuendos in each other's ears or grinding against each other provocative ways.

"This is not exactly what you would call a legal establishment and so introducing it to the outside world would lead to alot of unnecessary arrests," Bankotsu informed her while scratching his head sheepishy. "But enough of that, time for drinks!"

Before Kagome could utter a 'Hell no!' there was a flurry of movement on Jakotsu's part and soon there was shot glass in front of her.

"What the hell is that?"

"An abortion." Bankotsu grabbed the glass and shoved it into her mouth, patting her head when she started choking after the drink flew down her throat.

"_What_ is in it?"

"Vodka and tabasco sauce." Jakotsu supplied her with the ingredients and could barely contain his malicious laughter as her eyes grew to the size of tennis balls.

"Who the hell would like that?!"

"I was hoping you wouldn't."

Kagome watched him walk away with a few violent twitches that were very similar to epileptic fits.

Bankotsu chortled at her spastic movements before pushing her off the stool and pulling her under his arm in a friendly way. "You need some spice in your life and that drink just set you on your way to a new life full of exctiement and sexy men."

Kagome pulled herself from his grasp just as they made it to another door, this one painted black, wooden and hopefully lighter. She didn't need to be bothered with wasting her energy after she kicked Bankotsu in the nuts, stole his keys and made a mad dash for his shiny convertible. "How the hell would you know?"

He pushed the door open, "I'm a pychologist, I know these things."

Kagome followed him into the dimly lit room and watched as he interrupted the orgy being conducted on the blood red couch. "I'm sure you don't because I have enough excitement and sexy men to last me three lifetimes." It was a complete lie but she wasn't about to admit to him that she was completely heart broken, on her way to unemployment, and bored out of her skull thanks to a fear of a certain painter that told her how she would cut her head off before masturbating to her tresses.

He threw a dry look her way, "Sure, kid."

"Seriously, how would you know? I was just in the supermarket stocking up so I could feed my harem."

"Considering a harem is full of women, then I can confidently say that you have no men in your life." Bankotsu dropped onto the couch, not caring that acts of debauchery took place there only moments before.

"I actually meant brothel." She winced at the bark of laughter he let out, realizing that 'brothel' probably wasn't the best choice.

"Find it hard to believe that someone like you would live in a whorehouse," He continued with his guffawing.

"Someone like me?"

He delivered his answer still snickering, "Naive."

Kagome wasn't completely sure what happened after that, she either tackled him or let out a chain of curses that would bring shame even to the most vulgar of sailors or probably both. Jakotsu had decided to to make an appearance and force a few more vodka and _something_ mixed drinks that had her drunk in moments.

"Those bastards." She corrected herself from her prior conclusion that it was _one_ cross-dresser that caused her current pain.

An hour later, after much groaning and cursing, Kagome got off of the fluffy goodness that was her new bed, this time landing on her feet, and made her way into the bathroom for a much needed shower.

After the shower, she found Sango sitting in the kitchen nodding unnecessarily to the phone with Yura staring at her like the maniac she was.

"What's going on?" Yura turned her creepy leer to Kagome and said nothing. "Okay..." Kagome took a seat next to Sango and waited until she ended the conversation.

"Alright, I'll see you then." Sango snapped her phone shut and turned to Kagome. "What the hell did you do last night?"

"I was kidnapped and then I signed up for a really stupid experiment while incredibly inebriated." The drawing up of a contract had entered her mind while she was in the shower and she remembered that Bankotsu asked her to take part in an experiment that would probably make a fool out of any straight man.

"Ah," Sango said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, I hope you don't have to stay here to be a part of it."

"Why?" Kagome glanced at her after making sure the knife next to Yura was as far from her reach as possible.

"Because we're going to New York."

---

**AN**: Jesus fuck shitcakes, this chapter is hella long!

J-Boi:_ raises eyebrow_

Anyway, I don't know which phrase I love more, 'metal monstrosity' or 'gyrating hips'. Hmm...

Juicy: I don't know who could possibly give a shit

I tend to use metal monstrosity when referring to school buses because I'm sure that's where I'll meet the Grim Reaper or Satan, or Death, or who the hell ever invites you to a hole in the ground. Bus drivers might be damn good drivers but the people that get pissed off at them sure as shit aren't and so if it's snowing, raining, too windy, or dangerously sunny, I draw up a will that has completely no relevance to anything considering I own pretty much** nothing **of value

J-Boi: You're fucking _weird_, kid

But then again gyrating hips is what really old people referred to as the defiance and evil inducing that was Elvis and all those rock and rollers from the 50s in the form of dancing. When pink faced, U.S. History teaching Mr. Lieber spewed that line, I was cracking up for un minuto.

Inu-chan: I can definitely say with confidence that you're a loser

But whatever, enough with the contemplation of my favorite expressions. Time for reviewing and telling me what's wrong while simultaneously worshipping my writing with metaphors, similes, hyperboles and the rest of those grand ol' literary devices.

Juicy: You should stop reading those 'geek to chic' stories because you're regressing to the first phase of that genre


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